Chapter two
Almost immediately, the same smelly sheet is thrown over me again, and the cart starts moving rapidly. The squeaky wheels are driving me crazy. I shouldn’t be able to see anything with my eyes closed and covered with that damned sheet, but somehow, I CAN!
We roll along endlessly down a creepy corridor of rough concrete painted an ugly gray until the bastard slams the cart into some doors, which open, creaking and scraping the sides of the cart. I try to move my hands closer to my body so they don’t get scraped, but they won’t move! Dammit! “I am going to have a few words with the hospital administrator about the treatment I have endured,” I shout, but no one pays attention to me.
Finally, we are inside a dingy-looking room with one small desk and a guy sitting with his head in his arms, snoring loudly. The cart smacks the desk, and he jumps a foot screaming, “What the fuck is the idea waking me up from my sexy dream? It’s the only time I get ever close to sex with a woman!”
The voice of the jerk pushing the cart says, “Ask me if I care! Have sex with this one; she must have been a looker. She’s the fifth dimwit this month to sail into heaven or hell off Happy Hollow Mountain Resort Road. If they don’t put up some solid side rails soon, we will be working a bunch of overtime and still won’t be able to afford a car like the one this bitch smashed to smithereens! God forbid that we get paid for overtime! Can you imagine putting a brand new Porche in the tree a hundred feet off the road? It won’t be lonesome because it has company! Three more fools put their cars in that same tree! I heard that they aren’t even going to try to get them down. You’d figure someone would rescue them for parts!”
“Shut up and put her in locker ten and get the hell out of here so I can go back to sleep!” The guy at the desk growled.
“Locker! What the hell! No fucking way! I am not going into any God Damned locker!” I scream! No matter how much I screamed, no one was listening to me. And over my objections, that bastard slammed me feet first into the locker! The minute the door slammed shut, I sat up! This was no easy feat, as the locker was about two feet square and freezing cold!
OMG, it finally hits me: I AM DEAD!
Fuck, I didn’t know the dead could move!
I shot out of that locker the minute I realized I could move and straight through that metal door! I amazed myself by landing on my feet, naked in front of the grubby desk. The jerk was sound asleep again and snoring loudly! My fists banging on the desk should have woken him up, but he continued snoring loud enough to wake the dead! Unfortunately, that appears to be me!
I’m Dead, awake, and mad as hell!
Standing buck naked in front of the snoring man’s desk, the need for clothes became my top priority! God forbid that he should wake up and see me naked! I certainly didn’t want anyone to see me with that horrid tattoo on my chest. They would probably scream bloody murder. I searched the room, but there wasn’t a scrap of cloth anywhere!
I will stay naked forever before I consider that sheet in the locker!
I shouted out to the universe, “Dammit, I need some clothes! I want some real clothes! And they had better be stylish to show off my sexy body! Thankful that Goddammed death didn’t take that!”
I look for a mirror to check my makeup and hair, but, dammit, there was none in sight, and by this time, I was fuming!
“Dammit, I want a mirror and some clothes!” I screamed, stamping my foot on the floor!
Apparently, when you are dead, if you scream loud enough for what you want or need, you get it!
Immediately, I was standing in front of a full-length mirror. I studied the image, looking back at me. I could see that my hair was a little messy but in the same shoulder-length style and brilliant red color as before. I was shocked that my makeup appeared nearly flawless.
I quickly slipped the dress over my head, and I adjusted the thin straps to show off my perky breasts. I suddenly realized the ugly chest tattoo had disappeared! Well, things are finally looking up!
But then I realized that each time that ugly buffoon snored, he farted, and the air was getting so pungent I was fighting for a breath! I started screaming to the heavens or to anyone who might be listening, “Fuck, is this all there is?”
In a New York second, I am transported to another plane of existence!
Fuck, tell me this isn’t true? I Am standing in front of The Pearly Gates.
“Wait a minute, I screamed. Don’t I get a chance to plead my case? I’ve got my law degree right here in my purse. I will make minced meat out of that old duffer, St. Peter!”
If you read Chapter 1 of A Plane of Existence, this will continue with our hero’s path to enlightenment.
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