Today is Friday the 13th and I thought some fun might be in order. I wrote this when we were Activity Directors for a Resort in Apache Junction. We were planning a renewal of marriage vows.
Dearly Beloved and Unbeloved
We have gathered here within the site of Lost Dutchman’s Mine on Superstition Mountain to renew our commitments to all of our long-suffering spouses.
The ceremony is short, just like our memories! Which is a blessing, or none of us would still be married to the dumb-ass person standing beside us!
Matrimony is a solemn state, to which none of us entered into in our right minds.
If anyone present can show more than one reason why any of these people should still be joined, speak now, and we will all forget what you said in 5 minutes or less
Do you solemnly swear to continue suffering in silence, through all the peccadillos, you each display the rest of your life? Or until a divorce is a new addition to Medicare part Z with no deductible?
Do you promise to stick together through sickness and health? Sickness is more likely, and health unlikely?
Remember the joy, which lasted through the honeymoon, and regret, which lasts forever!
After giving and receiving many insults throughout the years, we pronounce you joined at the hip in your RV until it is paid off or forget where it is parked.