I’ve reviewed ALL the Democratic Candidates and have come to the conclusion that American People don’t have nearly enough candidates to pick from! So I am throwing my hat in the ring for President of the United States!
Concerning my qualifications to effectively execute the complex aspects of the Office of the President of the United States of America! After watching how the office is being run at present, I think I can do it with one arm tied behind my back! It is a well-known fact women can multi-task.
Here is my platform :
- I am really easy to get along with as long as you do exactly as I say! I am a Post-menopausal Red Head, left-handed, Gemini! Which should tell the head of any country that messing with me would not be in their best interests!
- I will appoint pre or post-menopause Women to be my ambassadors. Guaranteed they won’t tolerate backtalk from the male-dominated societies of the world.
- Since I am a woman, all the old White Men will assume that I am complacent and will do as I am told! It will be a pleasant surprise that I am neither!
- I have been married to my one and only First Man for 58 years.
- I will have to read from a teleprompter; otherwise, I will forget where I am and why I am here! Much like everyone else my age. So no running off at the mouth and making a fool of myself and the country, won’t happen, not that we haven’t already been there!.
- Let’s talk about age! I am willing to admit I am old! I have no desire to lead forever, no worries about a dictatorship! Both my Son and Daughter are old enough to live in a 55 age community, they have no desire to follow me unless I am making pizza.
- And I won’t be re-decorating the white house, it looks pretty damned lovely compared to my double-wide mobile home or my 2005 Coachmen Motorhome!
- I plan on sleeping in every one of the bedrooms at least one night, and anyone that sends contribution will get to sleep in one for one night too!
- I will be happy to accept all the Pac money I can get! As long as they don’t mind signing my little agreement that says, “Sorry, Sucker, will do what is right for the country! You are the one being screwed for a change!
- I expect to be a one-term President!
- With the tax I am planning on slapping on the Millionaire and Billionaires, there will plenty of money to raise the minimum wage to $25.00 an hour, not that sissy $15.00.
- With the money left over from the millionaires and billionaire tax, everyone gets full coverage insurance, and nothing is pre-existing and no co-pays!
- All the stupid “No rules” things that are in place in regards to clean water, air, and the land is repealed!
- You still have to pay for college, BUT the interest is SIMPLE INTEREST, i.e. you figure the % on balance ONCE, and it is added to the amount owed and is never calculated on the declining balance over and over. You will find you can pay it back before you die. And the full amount you pay each year is deductible from income tax.
- There will be steel beams for sale! We don’t need a border wall, we need compassion for those that are fleeing injustice and will be welcomed with the original open arms that the Statue of Liberty intended.
- There will be no bail-outs for corporations that get in trouble for risky speculation! You are on your own, just like the workers that made you rich! No golden parachutes on the taxpayer’s dime!
Did I miss anything? I find it hysterical that I need to state that this is just for fun and is intended to be sarcastic, and no money will be accepted!