Dearly Beloved and Unbeloved

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Several years ago, I wrote this and submitted it to my GM at an RV Resort because we were working on a renewed Wedding vows theme.  It was rejected; in fact, the entire theme was rejected in favor of a photo opportunity for anyone who wanted to take sort of wedding pictures in front of a picture of Elvis in all his glory.

This was sad because I had found a live Elvis impersonator to appear in person, decked out in his bejeweled outfit, and he agreed to officiate the renewals!

The GM said it was “sort of funny” in a couple of places.  I leave it up to you to decide if it was a little funny.

Dearly Beloved and Unbeloved

We are gathered here within the site of Lost Dutchman’s Mine on Superstition Mountain to renew our commitments to all of our long-suffering spouses.

The ceremony is short, just like our memories!  Which is a blessing, or none of us would still be married to the dumb-ass person standing next to us!

Matrimony is a solemn state! None of us entered into it willingly and in our right minds.

Do you solemnly swear to continue suffering through all their peccadillos for the rest of your life or until divorce is a new addition to Medicare Part Z with no deductible?

Do you promise to stick together through thick and thin, sickness, which is likely, and health, which is unlikely?  Through Joy, which lasted through the honeymoon, and sorrow, which lasts forever!

After giving and receiving many insults throughout the years, we do pronounce you joined at the hip in your RV until it is paid off or you forget where you parked it.

If anyone present can provide more than one reason why any of these people should still be legally joined at the artificial hips, please speak now, and we will all forever forget what you said within 5 minutes or less.

List of my currently published books:

Maye West Mysteries Book 1 Murder on Lake Haverly

Maye West Mysteries Book 2 Options

Immortal Enemies

Spirited One Book 1 The Protector

Spirited One Book 2 James

The end of the Road

Ruby & Nolan’s Great Adventures in Space Book: 1 The Science Project

Ruby & Nolan’s Great Adventures in Space Book: 2 Dragon Flight

Ruby & Nolan’s Great Adventures in Space Book: 3 The Keep

Ruby & Nolan’s Great Adventures in Space Book: 4 The Others

Ruby & Nolan’s Great Adventures in Space Book: 5 Wormhole

Ruby & Nolan’s Great Adventures in Space Book: 6 Merpeople

Ruby & Nolan’s Great Adventures in Space Book: 7 Decisions

Ruby & Nolan’s Great Adventures in Space Book: 8 Irus

Sleep Travelers Book: 1 The Story of Ning, Dog, & Boss

Sleep Travelers Book: 2 The Amusement Park

My books are available at the following places:

Odilo, BorrowBox, Smashwords, Gardners, Tolino, Kobo, Vivlio, Everand, Barnes & Noble, Apple, Baker & Taylor, Palace Marketplace, OverDrive, D2D Print, Bibliotheca, Amazon, Hoopla

Published by Time Traveler of Life

Biography Creating worlds, characters, and wielding power like a madwoman, making my characters happy, sad, angry, and some of them with no redeeming qualities. I probably shouldn’t admit this, but I sometimes laugh out loud when I am writing a scene, and I have been known to cry when one of my favorites has to die. I am a left-handed Gemini, what do you expect? Reading bedtime stories to my two children until they fell asleep or until they just told me to go away, was fun. Making up wild stories for my grandchild, and creating Halloween costumes from Cowboys to a Dragon, was another favorite thing to do. I missed that so much when they were grown, that I started writing. My yearly newsletters frequently were drafted third-person by my Love Birds, Miranda our motorhome, and by Sir Fit the White Knight, our faithful Honda. Throughout the years, some of my creative talents centered around writing letters of complaint expressing my displeasure with services or products. One crucial, at least to my Son, was a note to our local school bus driver petitioning her to allow him back on the bus. He was kicked off for making an obscene gesture at his buddy. I reminded her that it was not directed at her, and that “obscenity can be in the eye of the beholder,” kids use that gesture as a greeting. He rode the bus until he graduated. I loved driving my English teacher crazy. Leaving a “continued next week” at the end of my five handwritten pages required each week. He was one of many people that suggested I “do something about my writing.” I graduated from the School of Hard Knocks at the top of my class. After 30 years, in the trenches as a Real Estate Professional, I have found that truth is stranger than fiction. My books are filled with characters I met in that profession. Their names were changed to protect the guilty. Others were from people we met traveling around the country in Miranda, our Motorhome. I am married nearly 60 years to the love of my life, Shirl, and partner-produced two exceptionally talented children, and one grandchild who is our pride and joy.

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