Just Once

Just once I would love to ask the Happiness Engineers a simple question and get a straightforward answer in simple to understand terms.

Today it only took about an hour to get my simple answer to my question about how to publish a previous post again. Honestly, I tried to pose the question in the most “Computerese” possible. I got three URLs of places to look and none addressed my question. When I asked in plain English, I got the right answer. I have to admit I was tempted to answer in my Mother’s language.

We used to have a term, “Easy enough for a 10-year-old to understand.” Well now, referring to anything digital, we need to say, “Easy enough for an 80-year-old to understand.” The 10-year-old’s can program the dang things!

Does anyone else watch commercials and ask oneself, “What the heck were they selling?” You can guarantee there will be a beautiful excruciatingly thin person showing us how to get the cleanest laundry, the shiniest car on the block, and service people arrive in clean white uniforms. Right!

Don’t you love the one where the plumber not only has replaced everything in the house, but cooks dinner and teaches the kids. I would hate to see the bill for that family. They can’t be that bright.

Let’s talk about beautiful young people selling wrinkle cream! If you are in your 20s and 30s, you don’t need wrinkle cream. Unless you lived a much harder life the rest of us mortals! Put a woman in her 60s or 70s on the screen with minimal wrinkles and I am sold on your product. Wrinkles come with living to a rip old age! Products that will clean and moisturize your skin is your best bet.

Here is a standard joke: I bought some new Wrinkle Cream, and it works wonderfully, I have tons on new wrinkles!

I love all the new “additives” to the laundry. You can now have clothes that are softer, smell cleaner forever, resist wrinkles, and dog and cat hair won’t stick! When we were traveling and using laundromats, we never had to add fabric softener, there was so much residual inside the dryers, it wasn’t necessary. I don’t use softeners at home either. How hard can your clothes be? If you hung your towels out to dry, maybe, but apartments and HOAs don’t allow that anymore.

Let’s talk about cars! Do we really need a car that can compete on the Indianapolis 500 to drive to work and back? Do we need to go from 0 to 60 in 25 seconds? Pretty soon it will not be necessary to have a driver’s license or take a driver’s test! The cars won’t need humans to control them. They can drive themselves, and parallel park, I have to admit I like that. There will be a huge scream when a governor is built into the cars to keep them below the speed limit. The backup cameras are nice, we have one on our Motorhome.

From the number of accidents, it appears a driver’s license maybe should be replaced with a basic intelligence test. You should not be behind the wheel if you can’t handle a big gulp, a burger, fries, and text your friends, too!

We have to stop wrong-way drivers from getting on the freeway. Ideas are to spend lots of $$$ on signs, and public awareness on TV is not working! I have a thought; how about a tack strip for entrance? You know the ones that you can only drive one way, the other way puts holes in your tires? Another calmer way is to have the wrong way entrance with that surface that rattles your car and scrambles your brains if you speed over them. BTW, not a short strip either, make it the entire entrance, to get their attention.

And the last thing, the little old couple that wash their 6 dishes every night in the dishwasher, because it takes less water than washing them by hand. That’s right up there with a used car salesman giving you a good deal! I recently talked to a RV dealer and was told, “We buy your RV for the wholesale price and sell you a new one at wholesale price.” I could feel the swamp lapping at my front door!

Well, guys, and gals, it has been fun. You need to laugh, even if you have to laugh at yourself! Have a good day, and stay safe!

Published by Time Traveler of Life

Biography Creating worlds, characters, and wielding power like a madwoman, making my characters happy, sad, angry, and some of them with no redeeming qualities. I probably shouldn’t admit this, but I sometimes laugh out loud when I am writing a scene, and I have been known to cry when one of my favorites has to die. I am a left-handed Gemini, what do you expect? Reading bedtime stories to my two children until they fell asleep or until they just told me to go away, was fun. Making up wild stories for my grandchild, and creating Halloween costumes from Cowboys to a Dragon, was another favorite thing to do. I missed that so much when they were grown, that I started writing. My yearly newsletters frequently were drafted third-person by my Love Birds, Miranda our motorhome, and by Sir Fit the White Knight, our faithful Honda. Throughout the years, some of my creative talents centered around writing letters of complaint expressing my displeasure with services or products. One crucial, at least to my Son, was a note to our local school bus driver petitioning her to allow him back on the bus. He was kicked off for making an obscene gesture at his buddy. I reminded her that it was not directed at her, and that “obscenity can be in the eye of the beholder,” kids use that gesture as a greeting. He rode the bus until he graduated. I loved driving my English teacher crazy. Leaving a “continued next week” at the end of my five handwritten pages required each week. He was one of many people that suggested I “do something about my writing.” I graduated from the School of Hard Knocks at the top of my class. After 30 years, in the trenches as a Real Estate Professional, I have found that truth is stranger than fiction. My books are filled with characters I met in that profession. Their names were changed to protect the guilty. Others were from people we met traveling around the country in Miranda, our Motorhome. I am married nearly 60 years to the love of my life, Shirl, and partner-produced two exceptionally talented children, and one grandchild who is our pride and joy.

2 thoughts on “Just Once

  1. I don’t like washing dishes in the dishwasher for some reasons. I prefer washing them with my hands and make sure to use less water as possible.

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