Brenda for President!

Would anybody else like to have an adult as President of the United States in the White House who gets their work done, working quietly behind the scenes, smiling, rather than screaming, calling everyone nasty downgrading nicknames!

Why didn’t we all vote for the one who wanted to make things better? I know she had that one glaring deficiency, you know, having to sit on the Gold Toilet! Speaking of glaring deficiencies, let’s talk about those of the Orange One and his handpicked super qualified Boot Lickers! Whose main qualifications are to smile and shout wholeheartedly while praising the big, wonderful bills that are being shoved down our throats daily.

Last but not least, why does the Secretary of Health think roadkill is on his menu, and his claim to fame is brain worms, but says he is all better now! This clown bears the same name as a former well-known political family, but that is as far as it goes. They must be spinning in their graves at his use of their name without their wit or brains.

I promise to execute the complex aspects of the Office of the President of the United States effectively. Unfortunately, I have a low bar to measure up to! I would prefer to have a majority in the House and Senate that leans toward the blue side, but I don’t care either way; I will perform my duties effectively. It is a well-known fact that women can multitask!

Here is my platform:

1. I’m really easy to get along with, as long as you do exactly what I tell you.
2. I am a post-menopausal redhead, left-handed Gemini, which should tell the head of any country that messing with me might not be in their best interests!
3. I will appoint pre- and post-menopausal women as my ambassadors. Guaranteed, they will tolerate/ignore all advice from the male-dominated societies of the world.
4. All the old White Men will automatically think they are in charge and will assume that I am just a complacent female and will smile and do what they tell me! You do know what assume means, don’t you, guys? I can hit the toilet every time! It will be an unpleasant surprise that I am not complacent!  Most of the tried-and-true ways of doing things will get a big NO!  Unless they actually get one thing right!
5. My one and only first Gentleman is my husband, of 64 years. There will be no dalliances for either of us! 
6. I will definitely need to read from a teleprompter with big fonts! We wouldn’t want me to be running off at the mouth like so many of the geniuses who think they know what this country needs. Unless you have been living under a rock, you know who they are! How about we stop making fools of ourselves and our once-great country?
7. Do you want to talk about age? I am willing to admit I am old, but I can still walk and chew gum! And being old is not a sin! I have no desire to lead forever! No worries about me planning a dictatorship! Both our son and daughter are old enough to live in a 55+ community, and they have no desire to follow my footsteps, unless I am making pizza.
8. I don’t come from a long-standing political family. To the best of my knowledge, I don’t have worms in any part of my body. Don’t they have a cure for worms for dogs?
9. I won’t be redecorating the white house! It used to look pretty damned lovely compared to what most Seniors live in! I might not even move in, but govern remotely! We don’t need new China; the pattern in the cupboards has been preserved, if it hasn’t been sold to the highest bidder! However, if we do need new plates, they will be made by a company in the USA!
10. I plan on sleeping one night in every bedroom, and anyone who sends a big contribution might get to sleep in one for one night! But, by themselves! Refer to #5.
11. I will be happy to accept ALL the PAC money, as long as they don’t mind signing my one little pre-nup agreement that says, “Sorry, Sucker, I will do what is right for the country! I am the screwer, and you will be the screwee, for a change!
12. I expect to be a one-term President!  I am old but not stupid!
13. With the tax I am planning on slapping on the Millionaires, Billionaires, and Trillionaires, there will be plenty of money to raise the minimum wage to $25.00 an hour, not that sissy $15.00.
14. With the money left over from the Millionaire, Billionaire, and Trillionaire tax, everyone receives full-coverage insurance, covering all pre-existing conditions, and no co-pays! Don’t worry! The big guys will only pay the same percentage tax that middle-class Americans have been paying for years, while they were paying 0%. Medicare and Social Security will forever be safe and never be borrowed from ever again. By the way, SSI will be increased to a livable amount. Our Seniors need to retire in dignity
15. All laws designed to protect the environment that have been reversed under the Previous Administration will be reinstated. Yay! Clean water, air, and undisturbed land!
16. Sorry, college-bound! You still have to pay for college, but the interest is low, and SIMPLE INTEREST. The interest percentage is figured on the balance, added to the amount owed, and never recalculated on the declining balance. You will find you can pay it back before you die, AND the full amount you pay each year will be deductible from your income tax.
17. Thousands of steel beams will be for sale! We could build something useful with them, like schools super-well equipped in every location! We don’t need a border wall; we need compassion for those who flee injustice. If we mind our own business, take care of our own citizens, and revise the process of becoming a citizen to be less expensive and accomplished in a timely manner. Those who wish to come here will have the opportunity to work and pay taxes. Immigrants want to come here because they have a chance at a better life. Come here for any other purpose, or commit crimes, and they will be deported! But humanely and not beaten.
18. There will be no bailouts for corporations and banks who get into trouble due to risky speculation. You are on your own, pals! Just like the depositors that made you rich! No golden parachutes on the taxpayer’s dime!
19. Did I miss anything?
20. I find it interesting that I need to clarify that this post is intended just for fun and is meant to be sarcastic. No money will be accepted unless you understand and agree to #10.

My current means of support is my books. Here is how you can find them to boost my campaign funds.

www.brendacolbabooks.com