Brenda for President

Wouldn’t it be nice to have an adult in the White House who gets more done quietly, working behind the scenes and smiling, rather than screaming, calling everyone nasty, and downgrading nicknames!

Why didn’t the one who wanted to make things better not get elected? I know she had that one glaring deficiency! But the glaring deficiency of the Orange One is not only ignored, but praised by way too many.

Last but not least, why do we have the Secretary of Health who loves road kill, and his claim to fame is brain worms, but says he is all better now! He bears the same name as a former well-known political family, but that is as far as it goes. They are probably spinning in their graves at his use of the name without the wit or the brains.

I promise to effectively execute the complex aspects of the Office of the President of the United States. Unfortunately, I have a low bar to measure up to! I would prefer to have a majority in the House and Senate that leans toward the blue side, but I don’t care much. One way or another, I can do it with one arm tied behind my back! It is well known that women can multitask!

Here is my platform:

1. I’m really easy to get along with, as long as you do exactly what I tell you.
2. I am a post-menopausal redhead, left-handed Gemini, which should tell the head of any country that messing with me might not be in their best interests!
3. I will appoint pre- and postmenopausal women as my ambassadors. Guaranteed, they won’t tolerate backtalk from the male-dominated societies of the world.
4. I know that all the old White Men will automatically assume they are in charge and will assume that I am just a complacent woman and will do what they tell me! You do know what assume means, don’t you, guys? I can hit the toilet every time! It will be an unpleasant surprise that I am not complacent! If the old farts try to tell me to do things the tried and true way, they will be surprised at my big NO!  Unless ess they actually get one thing right!
5. My one and only first Gentleman will be my husband, of 64 years. There will be no dalliances for either of us! 
6. I will definitely need to read from a teleprompter with big fonts! We wouldn’t want me to be running off at the mouth like so many of the nitwits who think they know what this country needs. Unless you have been living under a rock, you know who! They make fools of themselves and the country! We’ve had enough of that bull puckey!
7. Let’s talk about age! I am willing to admit I am old, but I can still walk and chew gum! And being old is not a sin! I have no desire to lead forever! No worries about me planning a dictatorship! Both our Son and Daughter are old enough to live in a 55+ community, and they have no desire to follow my footsteps, unless I am making pizza.
8. I don’t come from a long-standing political family, and to the best of my knowledge, I don’t have worms in any part of my body. Don’t they have worm medicine to cure dogs?
9. And I won’t be redecorating the white house! It used to look pretty damned lovely compared to what most of us Seniors own! I might not even move in, but govern remotely! We don’t need a new China; the pattern that is in the cupboard will be good enough. However, if we do need new plates, they will be made in the USA!
10. I plan on sleeping in every bedroom for at least one night, and anyone who sends a big contribution might get to sleep in one for one night! But, by themselves!
11. I will be happy to accept ALL the PAC money from anyone, as long as they don’t mind signing my little agreement that says, “Sorry, Sucker, I will do what is right for the country! I am the screwer, and you will be the screwee, for a change!
12. I expect to be a one-term President!  I am old but not stupid!
13. With the tax I am planning on slapping on the Millionaires, Billionaires, and Trillionaires, there will be plenty of money to raise the minimum wage to $25.00 an hour, not that sissy $15.00.
14. With the money left over from the Millionaire, Billionaire, and Trillionaire tax, everyone receives full-coverage insurance, with no pre-existing conditions, and no co-pays! Don’t worry! They will only pay the same percentage that middle-class Americans have been paying for years, while they have been paying 0%. Medicare and Social Security will forever be safe and never be borrowed from ever again.
15. All laws designed to protect the environment that were reversed under the Previous Administration will be reinstated. Yay! Clean water, air, and undisturbed land!
16. Sorry, college-bound! You still have to pay for college, but the interest is low, and it is SIMPLE INTEREST. The interest percentage is figured on the balance, added to the amount owed, and never recalculated on the declining balance. You will find you can pay it back before you die. AND the full amount you pay each year will be deductible from your income tax.
17. There will be thousands of steel beams for sale! Or we can build something useful with them, like schools! We don’t need a border wall; we need compassion for those who flee injustice. If we mind our own business, no one will be clamoring to sneak into our country. The process of becoming a citizen will be less expensive and take less time than it does now. Those who wish to come here will have the opportunity to work and pay taxes. It is a fact that immigrants WANT to come here because they have a chance to make a life. Come here for any other purpose, or commit crimes, and they will be deported!
18. There will be no bailouts for corporations and Banks that get into trouble due to risky speculation. You are on your own, pals! Just like the depositors that made you rich! No golden parachutes on the taxpayer’s dime!
19. Did I miss anything? I find it interesting that I need to clarify that this post is intended just for fun and is meant to be sarcastic. No money will be accepted unless you understand and agree to #10.

My current means of support is my books. Here is how you can find them to boost my campaign funds.

My books are available on Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Everand, Smashwords, Tolino OverDrive, bibliotheca, Baker & Taylor, BorrowBox, Hoopla, Vivlio, Palace  Marketplace, Odilo, Gardners, and Amazon.

All my posts are on my website at www.brendacolbathbooks.com. 

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Hope your day is filled with fun and love. See you next time…