Brenda for President!

After looking into my crystal ball, I have seen the possible future if our present Wanna Be King and his hand-picked Army continue to create confusion and madness in one fell swoop. Our current wanna-be King is planning to steal the midterm elections, and we will have another Republican majority in the HOUSE AND SENATE!

If you still think “everything will be all right” because “GOD is on our side?” “Good will always triumph!” Think again!  Step back and take off those rose-colored glasses before they, and your head, are smashed under the foot of MAGA soldiers!

You need to face the truth! When was the last time people were herded into box cars and murdered by gas, just because they were “Those people”? Don’t remember or believe? I understand, they are depending on the axiom of “Out of sight, out of mind!”

 I understand I’m only one of hundreds heating up their rhetoric, and I might be a little late to the party, but what the heck! I am retired, so time is not a priority for me. I remember how incredibly poor we were after the Second World War, when we had barely won it. Our friends and allies stepped up to the plate and fought and died alongside our “best and the brightest” to stop that dual regime.

After mocking and jeering the whole world, how successful do you think our current wannabe king will be in asking for help? Just in case the Wannabe King is successful in decapitating all the other candidates’ ability to stay in the chase, I decided to throw my hat in the ring and make a run for President of the United States!

From what I have observed, the current crop of politicians continues to shoot themselves in the foot, revealing their real reason for seeking the office. They are all mistaken in thinking that they are God’s gift to humanity! And, I don’t see any change in their thinking or attitude in the very near future.

After reviewing the qualifications of those who are considering entering the ring, I believe I have a better-than-average chance of making some noise, and with any luck, I might make a strong showing.

How much worse can I be than what you’ve got to choose from so far in this up-and-coming down-and-dirty race? And make no mistake about it, they are all eyeing the Presidency. What have they got to lose? Yogi Bear would be a better leader than this motley crew that is demolishing democracy and the White House as we speak!

Take a hard look around you at the mess they have created! If the truth be known, we have all seen better days, and it has very little to do with our health.

The BIGLY old ORANGE one only wants to cheat at golf, eat his weight in Cheeseburgers and fries, and that is a damn lot of meat! They’ll have to kill a cow a day just to make him meat for a week! And ship in ketchup by the barrel! Imagine the old fool hiring a chef and eating McDonald’s and Burger King in the White House! That won’t happen with me; I don’t eat red meat, so it will have to be chicken or turkey burgers! His favorite pastime is to blame anyone else for his lack of understanding of what it takes to run a country, let alone a marriage! And he thinks he is God’s gift to all women except his wife! Someone should tell him that he missed that mark by a country mile! It doesn’t matter how much you pay for sex, it ain’t love! And last but not least, it doesn’t matter if you shit on a Gold Toidy; it is still shit, and it smells!

The Vice One appears not to give a damn if we live or not as long as he can get his supply of eyeliner, and he says he loves his “little woman,” who knows her place in his life and the world. And he will be happy to teach the rest of the American women how we must behave! He agrees with the Orange One, who loves cozying up to Billionaires! and he isn’t above pitching canned goods, pillows, and god-awful fool’s gold coins from the Oval Office!

Wouldn’t it be nice to have an adult in that office who gets more done quietly, working behind the scenes and smiling, than screaming, calling everyone nasty, and downgrading nicknames! I will never know why the one who wants to make things better is not the most popular one!  Last but not least, the guy who boasts of worms in his brain says he is all better now! He bears the same name as a former well-known political family, but that is as far as it goes. They are probably spinning in their graves at his use of the name without the wit or the brains.

I will effectively execute the complex aspects of the Office of the President of the United States. I would prefer to have a majority in the House and Senate that leans toward the blue side, but I don’t care much. One way or another, I can do it with one arm tied behind my back! It is well known that women can multitask!

Here is my platform:

1. I’m really easy to get along with, as long as you do exactly what I tell you. I am a post-menopausal former redhead and left-handed Gemini, which should tell the head of any country that messing with me would not be in their best interests!
2. I will appoint pre- and postmenopausal women as my ambassadors. Guaranteed, they won’t tolerate backtalk from the male-dominated societies of the world.
3. Since I am a woman, all the old White Men will think they are automatically in charge and will assume that I am complacent and will do as they tell me! You do know what assume means, don’t you, guys? I hit the toilet every time! It will be an unpleasant surprise that I am neither complacent, and I will do almost nothing that the old farts tell me! Unless they actually get one thing right!
4. My one and only first Gentleman and I have been married for 64 years. There will be no dalliances for either of us! 
5. I will definitely need to read from a teleprompter with big fonts! We wouldn’t want me to be running off at the mouth like so many of the nitwits who think they know what this country needs. Unless you have been living under a rock, you know who! They make fools of themselves and the country! We’ve had enough of that bull puckey!
6. Let’s talk about age! I am willing to admit I am old, but I can still walk and chew gum! And being old is not a sin; I have no desire to lead forever! No worries about me planning a dictatorship! Both our Son and Daughter are old enough to live in a 55+ community, and they have no desire to follow me unless I am making pizza.
7. I don’t come from a long-standing political family, and to the best of my knowledge, I don’t have worms in any part of my body. Don’t they have worm medicine to cure dogs?
8. And I won’t be redecorating the white house! It used to look pretty damned lovely compared to what most of us Seniors own! I might not even move in, but govern remotely! We don’t need a new China; the pattern that is in the cupboard will be good enough. However, if we do need new plates, they will be made in the USA!
9. I plan on sleeping in every bedroom for at least one night, and anyone who sends a big contribution might get to sleep in one for one night! But, by themselves!
10. I will be happy to accept ALL the PAC money from everyone, as long as they don’t mind signing my little agreement that says, “Sorry, Sucker, I will do what is right for the country! I am the screwer, and you will be the screwee, for a change!
11. I expect to be a one-term President!  I am old but not stupid!
12. With the tax I am planning on slapping on the millionaires and Billionaires, there will be plenty of money to raise the minimum wage to $25.00 an hour, not that sissy $15.00.
13. With the money left over from the millionaire and billionaire tax, everyone receives full-coverage insurance, with no pre-existing conditions, and no co-pays. Don’t worry! They will only pay the same percentage that middle-class Americans have been paying for years, while they have been paying 0%. Medicare will forever be safe and never be borrowed from ever again.
14. All laws designed to protect the environment that were reversed under the Previous Administration will be reinstated. Yay! Clean water, air, and undisturbed land!
15. Sorry, college-bound! You still have to pay for college, but the interest is low, and it is SIMPLE INTEREST. You figure the percentage on the balance once, and it is added to the amount owed and never recalculated on the declining balance. You will find you can pay it back before you die. AND the full amount you pay each year will be deductible from your income tax.
16. There will be thousands of steel beams for sale! Or we can build something useful with them, like schools! We don’t need a border wall; we need compassion for those who flee injustice. If we mind our own business, no one will be clamoring to sneak into our country. The process of becoming a citizen will be less expensive and take less time than it does now. Those who wish to come here will have the opportunity to work and pay taxes. It is a fact that immigrants WANT to come here because they have a chance to make a life. Come here for any other purpose, or commit crimes, and you will be sent home!
17. There will be no bailouts for corporations and Banks that get into trouble due to risky speculation. You are on your own, pals! Just like the depositors that made you rich! No golden parachutes on the taxpayer’s dime!
18. Did I miss anything? I find it interesting that I need to clarify that this is intended just for fun and is meant to be sarcastic. No money will be accepted unless you understand and agree to #10.

My current means of support is my books. Here is how you can find them to purchase.

 If you’re interested in my books, my publisher, D2D, distributes them through the following channels: Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Everand, Smashwords, Tolino OverDrive, bibliotheca, Baker & Taylor, BorrowBox, Hoopla, Vivlio, Palace Marketplace, Odilo, Gardners, and Amazon.

My eBooks are available at Smashwords and Books2Read.  

Check out my website at http://www.brendacolbathbooks.com and Books.By/brendacolbath where my paperback books are available for shipping worldwide for only $5. Each and some are free shipping.

See you next time for fun and a rant…