Chapter 3
Looking around, I could see white fluffy clouds and a lovely park-like setting behind the gate. I was unimpressed that the gate wasn’t exactly pearly and that there wasn’t a padlock attached to the gate, either. Seeing no one around to stop me, I pushed it open and strode in, as if I knew what I was doing and belonged there. I haven’t lived long enough to belong in the fiery hell most humans feared. Looking around, I was somewhat pleased with the vast park, featuring soft grass and tall trees that shaded the numerous walking paths. It wasn’t really my thing, but it was not a bad start.
With a warm breeze caressing me, I thought, “Well, fuck me! I must have made it into heaven!”
The rules of admittance must be loosey-goosey and not at all like the Fire and Brimstone crap the preachers tried to scare us with Sunday morning. I always suspected that the only reason for the scare tactics was to get more dough into that silly plate that was passed around.
I was too busy having fun to waste my time attending many of those sermons. In fact, I tried my best to do everything we were told not to do!
I tried to surrender my virginity at the tender age of 10! It was not a memorable experience! A quick ten minutes of thrusting and not at all like the Love story books portrayed it would be. I wanted the BIG “O,” not the quick in and out of a 13-year-old who didn’t last long enough or was big enough to break my hymen! I didn’t feel a dammed thing! Later, I did have what was supposed to be real sex, but that was not all that memorable, either!
“I hope there are grown-up men or women in this place that have the equipment to do the job!”
This after-life experience was giving me a migraine!
The park setting and not seeing anyone were a little disconcerting. After all, if this is the afterlife, i.e., Heaven or Hell. Surely, I can’t be the only one to make the cut? Where the hell are all my irreverent friends? I wonder where they are and how many are wandering around here. I thought it would be heavenly (pun intended) to see Lee and Leymoyne again. I wonder if they still smoke Pall Mall Reds. Or if you can smoke in either place. God, it would be wonderful to give them huge hugs and spend an evening talking about our friends and enemies from Real Estate again!
I would love to see Karen E with her nearly straight black hair, bangs covering her eyebrows, and sharp blue eyes peeking out under them. It would be a kick in the pants! She looks like a demure church Mom but with the dirtiest potty mouth in our group. She embarrassed every one of us when we got our new voice pagers, sending the most God-awful messages at the worst times. Like the one to me when I was listing a house for a Minister and his wife. The Pager shouted, “Brenda, your Black and Decker dildo has arrived.” My clients nearly fell off their chairs, and another listing went down the drain!
My mind snapped to the present, and I said, loudly, “By the way, where the hell is the champagne? Don’t I get a complimentary bottle since I made the cut? A Magnum would suffice nicely, with extra glasses for any guests who might happen along. In case someone does.”
And, just like that, a bottle with several beautiful glasses appeared on a small table with chairs. But with no bottle opener! “Well, that’s just great! How am I supposed to open this? With my teeth?” A corkscrew instantly appeared in my hand, and I opened the bottle not expertly but poured a glass. I sat there looking at my bubbly! “Damn, it’s not as much fun to drink alone!”
“Well, dammit, I guess I will have to if there isn’t anyone in this damned place to drink with me! And I drank the glass in one swallow and poured another! If no one shows up soon, I might just drink myself into oblivion.”
And, just like that, the landscape changed, and I am now sitting in a lovely, well-appointed room complete with chandeliers and soft music. Sitting across from me is a gorgeous man who smiles as he pours us another glass and makes a toast. “Here’s to all the people we left behind and to all the new ones we will meet!” He said with a big smile on his handsome face.
“Now, this is more like it!”
I look him over, and I like what I see, from the full head of light brown curly hair and sexy brown eyes. My imagination was wildly picturing him naked and ready for some fun!’
Finally, we pause in our mutual admiration, and he speaks.
“Hello, my name is Daniel. And you are new here.”
“Yes, and I am wondering exactly where the hell ‘here’ is?”
“This is where we come to have fun! And whom do I have the pleasure of introducing to the finer points of the “afterlife.”
“My name is Amanda! And now that we introduced, I need to know exactly where the fuck we are?”
Before Daniel could answer, I said, “Are we in heaven or Hell?”
Smiling, he said, “It can be either, depending on which one you desire.”
“Does it have a name? And exactly what can I expect?”
“You can expect it to be anything you want it to be. Some people arrive here expecting to be punished for their sins in their previous life, and that is exactly what they receive until they feel their sins have been atoned for.
“But, if someone does not believe they committed any sins, but they did, what happens?”
“Did you commit enough punish-worthy sins?”
“Hell, I didn’t live long enough to do near enough sinning!”
List of my current published Books, which are available at the following sites Odilo, BorrowBox, Smashwords, Gardners, Tolino, Kobo, Vivlio, Everand, Barnes & Noble, Apple, Baker & Taylor, Palace Marketplace, OverDrive, D2D Print, Bibliotheca, Amazon, Hoopla
Maye West Mysteries Book 1 Murder on Lake Haverly
Maye West Mysteries Book 2 Options
Immortal Enemies
Spirited One Book 1 The Protector
Spirited One Book 2 James
The end of the Road
Ruby & Nolan’s Great Adventures in Space Book: 1 The Science Project
Ruby & Nolan’s Great Adventures in Space Book: 2 Dragon Flight
Ruby & Nolan’s Great Adventures in Space Book: 3 The Keep
Ruby & Nolan’s Great Adventures in Space Book: 4 The Others
Ruby & Nolan’s Great Adventures in Space Book: 5 Wormhole
Ruby & Nolan’s Great Adventures in Space Book: 6 Merpeople
Ruby & Nolan’s Great Adventures in Space Book: 7 Decisions
Ruby & Nolan’s Great Adventures in Space Book: 8 Irus
Sleep Travelers Book: 1 The Story of Ning, Dog, & Boss
Sleep Travelers Book: 2 The Amusement Park
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